Not Afraid

11/27/2011

Two years ago Quinn’s Mom advised she wanted a divorce and this time it was for reals...   I can’t tell you how long I was in denial.  Maybe I’d just rather not.  I was devastated and never felt so awful in my life.  I was loosing my family.  The fact that our marriage was ending absolutely crushed me and I felt nothing but failure. 

As time when on I realized it was over and it’s time to just move on.  Life happens for a reason and I’m done trying to go back.  I’m only going forward…

We are all amazing people and just have to realize this.  Know that people out there love us and want us to be happy.  That with every sad or dark time, there are two happy, loving ones to over power and take their place.  One day the sad days will disappear and thats the day you wake up and realize you are not afraid...

I put the video in just because Eminem has a way with his lyrics but I think he has songs that just speak to people out there that are going though what he’s saying.  I think there are a lot of people that can relate to this song…

I posted the following video because I wanted to express that there was a time when I thought I would never recover.  Then comes the day when you wake up and your feet hit ground and you realize that you are awesome.  It has been two years and I've realized things happen for a reason but there is to much in life to keep me down and that I'm back... 

To any new or maybe not so new single moms or dads out there that are, I hope you find what you are looking for.  Always remember it takes time and everyone’s pace is different.  But most importantly remember you are awesome!  

Always remember you are never alone…

***Please Advise…The following Video has Explicit Content***

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Last night I picked up the Munch and we hung out and caught up on visiting friends!  We stopped over and saw Kevman and Ashley!  We were only there a hot minute then headed out for some dinner.  The next day I took Quinn out to Friendly’s for breakfast.  We went last year so we had to keep it going! 

I was really nice to have breakfast with my little one.  We ate and laughted and just had time with no distractions.  Just a little girl and her daddy.

After we headed home and just hung out.  We stopped over my Aunt’s house for lunch.  My parents and brother were there.  We had so much fun.  The food was so good and Quinn had a blast. 

After we ate we took a walk to the park and worked off that food!  Quinn had so much fun swinging and sliding and just running around.  We then went in and had dessert then just hung out and played games and enjoyed our family. 

I like Thanksgiving but when it’s over then Christmas is coming.   And then new years.  And let me tell you I’m ready for 2012!  I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed their time with their family. 

I’m so grateful to have such an amazing family and friends…

Enjoy the pics.

Here I am playing at Aunt Ro's!

Here we all are!!!

Just Goofing off!!

Trip to the park!

Swinging with Oma and Popi

Aunt Ro push me higher!

Umm Grape Pie made with grapes from my aunts house!  She took the grapes down this year. They were over a 100 yrs old!  (Well not the ones in the pie! but you know what i mean)

Just chilling with my Uncle!

I got a big Carrot!

Tea time with Oma.

Just looking in the mirror with Aunt Ro.

Just relaxing

I love my uncle!

All in all it was an awesome Day. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and spent it with loved ones...  

Well next up Christmas!!!

Talk to you all soon!

Love

Christopher

Dinner in Brockport

I know im a little behind on blogging!  Sorry.  This entry was for the weekend of 4^th, 5^th and 6^th.    Friday we hung out and had dinner.  We just stayed in because it’s getting colder out it’s also getting dark soon now to. 

Saturday we woke up and an awesome breakfast!  She loves Eggs.  We did some puzzles and took a walk.  I’m trying to get her used to the colder weather so we take walks and still go out side but I’m also getting her to do more puzzles and we sit and read more too.  This time of year can be hard because you have to remember summer is over but we can’t go sledding yet well cause there is no snow on the ground.. Yet….

Later that day we went to my buddy Sean’s apt.  He lives with his girlfriend Samantha.  The both go to school at Brockport.  We were planning dinner for a while and I was excited to bring Quinn.  Samantha’s little nephew was there with us hanging out. 

Sean made BBQ meatloaf and veggies. It was so good.  Quinn and I brought a pie from Leo’s.  They have such amazing baked goods.  We all hung out and talked and just had fun.  Quinn did so good!  She ate all her dinner and a big piece of pie! 

The rest of the weekend we just relaxed and enjoyed our time.  Sundays we usually just read books and listen to music watch a movie or something. 

It was a great weekend!  I have to get my post up and dated too! Sorry to my readers.  I am still behind a couple but I will catch up this week.

Playing on the bed!  Look at how big she's getting!

Just hanging out.

Dinner time!

Here we are!

It is nice to be in a couple shots!

Time for Pie!

I took a Nap.

Time for some coloring! 

Jumping on Sean!

Hanging out with Sean

We had a great weekend!  Thank you Sean and Samantha for having us over!  We had such a great time your apt is awesome!  I now have to have them over to the house!

Till next time! I love you all 

Christopher

Has it been a Year already?

This November marks a year since I've been in the house and it has been one heck of a year...

The first couple months I moved out it were difficult.  I found myself with cabin fever.   I didn’t know what to do or handle being alone.  I remember the long nights and just feeling like I was loosing it from time to time.  The long nights and just not used to being alone took its toll on me.  The winter was hard I won’t lie.  When i had my daughter I missed us all together and thought about how to get us back as a family.  I called a lot or tried to set up just hanging out.  I had trouble being alone I was lonely and sad.   As spring came around I was working a lot and was still getting used to living alone.  I did things to keep busy but didn’t handle everything perfect.  I spent a lot of time missing my daughter and her mom.  

Without having to explain my entire story I will say this.  At first it was hard.  The move was tough I wasn’t ready and was clingy at first.  When I was moving out I was nervous and excited kinda at once.  I guess just because I never had my own place.  When I first moved in I remember my first night I'm not sure really sure what i was feeling I just remember being in a this new bed in my new room.  I knew it wold just take time.    As time went on I tired to keep busy I worked on the Blog but never really went public with it.  Over time we just kept it to light conversations and things about Quinn.  I took advise from family and friends just stayed busy and realized that it was over.  I took my blog and started to talk to new people.  I started talking to new single Mom's and Dad's and realized how many nice awesome people are out there and willing to talk and share their stories.  

Time is the only thing that can heal us.  As the year moved along I put my focus on the house and learned how to go through my life, things did get easier.  Here mom and I learned how to communicate and show Quinn she is so loved.

I had one of my best friends weeding to go to in the spring and me and my other best friend were in it so that was just amazing,  and had a lot of fun. The summer was so much fun.  Quinn and I went on many adventures and campouts.  We took so many pictures and just relaxed some days and enjoyed our time as father and daughter.  She loves the house and her little room.  We made it so comfy for her.  She has her little bed, and toys and table to work on too.  We have a park down the road and the area is very safe and quiet.  Our neighbors are so wonderful and just love Quinn.  

When the summer ended we started working on the yard and I leaned how to put my focus on that.  I visited friends and went on campouts.  Just realized that my time with Quinn was my time and that when I have her I just have the best time.  When I don’t have her I use the time to clean or visit friends and family. 

If I can say anything to you my readers it’s I am doing so much better.  I’m so glad to have great family and friends.  I’m also so glad I went out and talked to other bloggers.  You all have been so amazing and wonderful.  The next up coming year I have a lot of plans.  I have a fire pit to build and some more things to finish but other than that I’m really excited.  I have some more things on the blog to work on and am excited about that. 

This coming year I have some plans I'm excited about.  I wanna work on my yard, build a fire pit.  Work on the yard a little more, we have to fix the fence and thats it I think.  Well if my dad's reading this consider it our work list!!! haha

Now as I blog in my little home here, filled with pictures of my loved ones and little girl I feel at ease.  I feel like I have really grown and time does make it pass.  My advise to anyone is to keep busy.  Spend time with your child and make that time count.  Keep in touch with family and friends.  Keep busy, look for people online and read their stories.  It will take time, but you will get stronger…

Below i posted a video blog check it out.

And always remember you are not alone…

I love you,

Christopher

Happy Halloween!!

I posted two different events into one just because I've been so busy i wanted to make up a little lost time and they are the same kinda event so...

First was on Oct. 26.  I took Quinn to the Halloween party.  It was so fun.  I took her from room to room!  We first saw her room and said hello to her teacher!  Then we walked around and played games and won candy!  We had so much fun and everyone knew Quinn.  It was so nice everyone was going “Quinn hello”.  She smiled and kept walking along. 

She was a witch for Halloween and loved it!!!  I asked her if she was good or bad.  She said a bad witch.  Lol  After we went home and just relaxed on the couch and went to bed.

My little witch.

Her black cat!

Eve, my Halloween Kitty...

She loved her broom.

Here is Quinn getting a tattoo from her teacher!  I hope it comes off...

Back from the fun and relaxing.

The following Wed. November 4th I picked up Quinn and we headed out to go trick or treating.  We stopped at my aunts house first!  We said hello and got some treats and pictures!  My aunt dressed up and Quinn had so much fun.  

We left and stopped over Hughey's Moms house.  They had some more treats for us too!

There we played with blocks and toys and hung out for a little.  After we stopped over one of my best friends house's.  Jimbo's house, his mom was there and we hung out and talked for a little while too!  

After we went to my parents house and saw them! My mom dressed up and my dad had a scout meeting so he used that lol....  They had some cool things for her including a little play keyboard.  She loved it!!  

Check out the pics!

Here she is cleaning!

Aunt Ro and Quinn

Getting candy!

Scary!!

Here we are with Mrs. Ward

Just playing around.

Here's Uncle Hughey

Uncle Hughey and I

Here i am at Uncle Jimmy's house!

Here I am with Oma!

Oma and Popi and I.

Making some music!

Popi and I.

Here we are!

Just playing around!

We had such a great time!  I took a picture with Quinn but for some reason it didn't show!  So this Wed i will have to dress her up and get it.  I hope everyone had a great Halloween!  I can't believe it's November!  Pretty soon Winter will be here.  I'm still working on updating my blog and I am due for another video entry as well.  We went out in November I had to work Halloween so we went out on the Wed I had her.  The past year living on my own i realized I can get through the holidays just fine.  I may not have her on the day but we just work around it.  Its really all we as single parents can do.  As long as your child is happy and knows you love them and work around the rest, they will be happy and fine.

I hope all is well with everyone!

Talk to you soon!

Love,

Christopher