This past weekend Quinn was quite the rebellion. I guess I see how I was growing up now... The past few months I have noticed she has not been listening to what we ask. She will take her time in doing things we need done sooner or will squawk back and make noises. Truthfully I feel she is testing waters and getting to the point she feels there is no punishment. This past weekend we asked her to things like pick up or go to bed and she has been defying us.
Finally Sunday we needed her to pick up her toys and she made some noise and continued to lay down. I walked over to her toys all over the floor picked up an older one. A cloth treasure case and told her I was throwing it out. She got up and started picking up fast but I had to instill we don't do that anymore. I can't allow it to just be that way so I threw it out in front of her. It was just as hard to do as see. She melted down, she did finish up her toys, she then slammed the door and told me she was never talking to me again. She ran up to her room. I felt bad, but also can remember doing and saying that to my parents. It has just gotten to far and comfortable with her settings. She needs to know if she doesn't listen we can just bluff and say were throwing things out you just have to do it...
Later she came down and was better. I explained the toy is gone and she has to know when we need her to do something she just has to and not talk back or fight us. I told her she will get more toys along the way. She explained it was one of her favorite's. I think they all are! Kids don't want to loose anything they want to keep every single toy they have. I don't know why, no matter how you explain it, I feel its human nature to not give up anything...
My tip is the following, if you feel your child is rebelling and you have given them many warnings, time-out's and you have talked to them then yes you have to just throw one out. You need to show them you are not kidding around anymore. The longer you let them get away with things or bluff, the longer they will push you to do so. Once a child see's you are not messing around they will finally understand. As a parent I felt bad, I didn't do it for power or because I was mad, I did it because the world will. Kids have to realize the world is a wonderful place, but it is not forgiving... If it is, not often, we have to show our kids the good in the world and prep them for the bad. If we don't they will grow up spoiled and feel everything will be given to them. Doing this now will help them, its better than letting life slap them with reality. I feel my parents did a wonderful job and they did the same thing.
My tip is to pick the right moment, make sure you don't grab a very nice toy or one they really love, that might really hurt them. Also no going back the minute it hits the trash its gone. Do not go back and pull it out or they will know they have you wrapped around their finger. Just know once you do this they may rebel harder or scream at you. You might want to follow up with telling them you will throw out another toy. They say you once so they know you mean business! I told Quinn this when she screamed at me and she knew I would. She cleaned up fast and proper. Also keep your cool and let them vent, maybe put them in a time out to cool. They probably will run to their room and plot to hate you, that's natural. Don't stress they will get over it. Going to an extreme like this will only strengthen them to be a better person. Nobody likes a spoiled brat after all...
If you have other tips feel free to let me know! We in the end want our kids to listen of course, but it won't always happen because we are human...
Always remember,
You are never alone...
Love,
Christopher
No comments:
Post a Comment