Tuesday's Tip: Instilling you are still the Parent

    

When it comes to children sometimes they feel they are older than they really are, hence the joke our kids are 7 going on 25...  We try to give Quinn responsibility and let her understand what being older now means and comes with.  Sometimes however parents like the government just are allowed to do things without question.  Now as parents it's our responsibility not to over use this or just say "I'm the parent to bad" everything you do.  Sometimes you have to time what you do accordantly.  For example if you give your child a small cookie for dessert and the fact that they did listen to you.  This is no problem, however do not mention you are having popcorn and a movie or ice cream when they are in bed.  This will just make them want that and not the one thing they are eating at the moment.


     I can remember when Quinn was small I would sneak in the kitchen to enjoy a quick snack so she wouldn't see me.  I know it sounds bad, but I am the adult and well all parents do it.  Where adults and kids differ is adults are still growing so sneaking a small sweet or salty snack usually is controlled by just a few and adults have an easier time working that snack off.  Children however will eat until they are sick or the snack is gone so its just better not to let them see this.  However being older my daughter now moves faster so this has proven more difficult however for the record we eat very healthy foods and have a snack like chips every once and a while.

     So this past weekend Kayla and I were very busy and skipped breakfast and lunch, I know not a good idea.  We had Quinns basketball practice to go to then smaller things to get done and dinner to make.  I came back from the store only to have a few chips in a weak moment I know.  I was hungry.  Well she was eating her snack and of course comes in the kitchen because that's what kids do and saw me!  She then started asking for them for her snack.  I put them away and advised I had a few and that her snack was on the table.  The asking now turned into whining which grew and got annoying per she is older now and this shouldn't happen.  Well long story short we had her take a small time out and when she was ready to talk we explained that she had her snack and that yes sometimes adults have different ones however we don't have much.  Now I don't usually use the "because I'm and adult, that's why" card that much but sometimes kids need an explanation for everything and well as a parent you don't have to give one. 


     For what happened, well I could have eaten the chips in hiding, but I told Kayla we are not prisoners in this house.  As a parent you shouldn't have to hid if you want a more adult snack.  You work, you pay the bills and children have children snacks.  However I will say if you are doing this don't over due it and be mean, take out a hot fudge Sunday or something that will temp them to an extreme.  I had a few and she needed to be taught she can ask for some or one but we may say no. That she has a snack and she now is learning to say ok. 


    For kids it can be hard they feel why can't they get what you get.  For kids that are moving back and fourth especially with divorced parents it's even harder.  For my parents that share their kids be patient and understanding.  Don't let your anger of how things are fall on your kids shoulders.  We have to keep remembering they are being raised by two households and if the parents don't meet up to talk it can be even harder.  Children will also as they get older learn to play off this. 


     So my tip for today, you have a right to be an adult just don't flaunt it in front of your child.  Be careful what you may say and don't bring up something they will want like food or an outing.  Think and talk to your loved one in private this won't spark the child to start asking or crying that they want that item now.   So it is some give and take however you are an adult and no you are not a prisoner in your home so you are allowed to let them know when they get older they get more responsibility and different rewards!  That's all!  If I said this was easy well I would have a book deal.  It will take time but I assure you take the time and even issue a time out if they get out of control.


     I hope this tip helped and if you have any feel free to let me know!


Always Remember,
You are Never alone...


Love,
Christopher