"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Sometimes you leave empty handed...

     Being a single father there are many hurdles some larger than others.  The past couple Wednesdays I came to get Quinn, but have left empty handed.  Two weeks ago I had another rental, yes I got hit again!  Thats another story.  So I came to spend time with Quinn and take her out to the park.  When I got to the door she cried and didn't want to come.  Her mother and I talked to her but she screamed and just was not going.  I didn't want to push her and after all who wants to go to the park pulling a crying child.  So i said okay and I left.  That Friday came and she was excited to come, That weekend post is coming sorry!  

     The next Wednesday I came to pick her up, Jeep ready and she came out and started to get in but ran inside.  I walked up to greet her and again it just felt she was so upset she was just not coming.  At first I was a little upset and tried to talk to her Mom.  She didn't want to carry her out screaming and part of me understands why.  She invited me inside and i sat at the entry way.  Quinn was upstairs crying and screaming for her mom to come up and see her.  She came down stairs and sat with us and here Mom and I talked to her just to see what was going on and if we could get some answers.  It was hard a part of me wanted to just put her in the car and try to move on, another part the reason part realized this could just be a thing and will blow over.  I was scared and told Quinns Mom I was afraid she would play this game every week.  I didn't want her to think this was a game or anything.  I waited very hard and patient to see her.  It's sometimes difficult because we can talk to her, but she is only about 4 so.

    After talking for a while I asked Quinn for a hug and she did give me one.  It was hard being a second Wednesday in a row and not having her.  This Wednesday I was nervous and I was scared she would do it again but when I arrived she was excited to see me and had a play date going on she showing Daddy what she did today was fun and exciting.  We went home and my parents came over to spend some time with us.  They are going away so I wanted them to see her.  They haven't seen her in while and i knew they would love it.  We colored and played with stickers and then took a nice walk.

     The night went great and Quinn watched some TV and off to bed.  The hardest part of all this is just waiting to see what happens.  It's hard going a week just to see what will happen.  I guess that's one of the hardest parts of being a single Dad.  When something happens I have a long time to just sit and wonder what will happen.  I guess the waiting is one of the hardest parts.  It did all work out and we just move on.  I just like other single Dad's don't have all the answers, I just try to give and teach to others what was given and taught to me...

Somedays are just better than others, have faith and remember our children see our actions even if they are hard and in the end we the single dad looses...  If our kids win, then we did too...

Always remember, you are never alone...


  1. Christopher,
    How disapointing for you :( Sometimes kids just go through a "mommy" phase, and maybe Quinn is experiencing this. Also, if there have been any major changes...starting pre-school, her mom getting a boyfriend, etc. it can cause some anxiety. Even knowing that you've had some accidents in your car could possibly cause some fears? I agree with you that it wouldn't be good to let this become a habit for her...screaming and crying is not a great way to get what you want. If it goes away, great...if not, maybe you and her mom can discuss having you pick up Quinn at a park or an ice cream parlor instead of at her house. This might make for an easier transition since she'd already be out of the house? Also, giving her choices like "would you like Daddy to pick you up before dinner or after? Putting her in charge of picking out an activity to do with you is also a good way to help her feel more in control of things. Try not to panic...as you mentioned, these things are often temporary, and she will pick up on your anxiety and her mother's and it will only make the situation worse. Hang in there...as you say, you're never alone : )

  2. Kendra,
    Thank you for you always kind words. I totally understand and this past weekend was better we made some improvements. I can't wait to post and share with you. I am a little behind on post. :( But i will make up for it this week. I know its a phase and honestly she also is testing the waters and if she is even a little like me.. Well ohh boy.. lol
    Talk to you soon. We are never alone.. :)