"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Friday, March 30, 2012

Are you paying attention when you drive?

  Well the guy behind me wasn’t!  Thursday I was on my way to work and had the munch in the backseat.  We were just talking about the morning and how we had a fun night. It was a rainy and cloudy and I was thinking about if I was going to be able to drop her off and get back to work on time when BAM!  I got rear-ender by another driver.  I remember just thinking besides I hope were all safe, “well I’m late now for sure.”  I was in the middle lane so we had to pull over to the right.  He was a younger kid and was very nice.  Came over to make sure I was okay and to apologize.  I said I was ok and Quinn said she was fine too.  I told him to call the police so we can get this set.  In the car as we waited Quinn kept saying why aren’t we moving?  I told her what happened and I think she got it.  I called her mom to update her, I wasn’t sure if I was still able to even drive my car so I’d need a car with a car seat and all.  

    The police came and then had to block traffic as we all merged to the right hand side of the express way.  We got our info over to the cop and he got it ready.  Quinn then started going “Go, go!” Ha-ha I was like “I can’t leave”!  The police will get upset.  She goes “your going to jail”.  I go “your going to jail!”  She laughed and made me laugh.  She was good the whole time I had her.  After calling her mom back to let her know we were cool and I can get her to daycare we finished up.  His car was pretty messed up.  The Jeep prevailed I’m very proud of it.  The car had a lot of front end damage and the Jeep suffered a back bumper on the right side and a tail light.  I got it home and my mom got me to the rental place so I got my car.  All the insurances were called and the body shop is ready.  The woman at the insurance company told me if I wanted a job I had one because in about 3 hours everything on my end was done and I was now waiting for the other guy to get a hold of his insurance. 

    I didn’t ask but I just wonder if he was txting.  Bumper to Bumper doesn’t allow you to make mistakes because you really have to be paying attention.  It is interesting after an accident to just see and talk to people that see others txting or not paying attention.  Over the years as our technology grows our lack of looking out for our surroundings has fallen.  I’m scared to think what we will be doing in the future.  In New York you can get a ticket for that now, just like talking on your phone without a head set.  There have been serious accidents and deaths over the past few years involving not paying attention.  Now I don’t know if he just happened to switch lanes or what but its over and nobody was hurt.  A little neck pain for me but nothing bad, well yet… 

    I would just like put out there again how dangerous it is.  I am guilty as well but I try to txt at lights.  Not that that’s better.  I usually don’t txt and wait till I get home because I know I’m the kind of person that can’t do it!  I did learn after an accident you really have to make sure the child’s seat is okay.  I was told by the police and my insurance.  The officer had to look at it.  I guess if they feel it is moved or damaged at all it has to be replaced right away.  This would make sense.  Quinn and the car seat are fine.  The car will get some surgery on its butt and will survive.  So now I have Nissan and will have to wait till the Jeep gets all cleaned up.  So I urge you reading this to again please pay attention to the road.  

    I always tell Quinn if we are driving to wait if she needs something.  Her toys or animals can wait because Daddy has to drive and it’s important.  There will always be distractions in our world, between our phones, other drivers, working fixing things, another crash, signs billboards even our GPS systems.   We as drivers just have to adapt and remember everything can wait till you park…

Be safe!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

What would you do with over $500 Million Dollars?

    So the NY State Lottery is now over $500 Million Dollars or a half a billion I’m not sure what sounds cooler.  Now there are about 7 States involved with this Lotto so there are a lot of people playing.  Every once and a while the lottery will get big and the buzz fills the office.  The buzz around the office about how they would spend the money and how they wouldn’t be in the next day.  I think it’s pretty amusing and I tend to sometimes wonder what I’d do with my share… 

    Well today nobody won and everyone continued on playing.  I think it’s a fun thing that brings people together.  It is a pipe dream, winning millions of dollars but it does happen.  I personally give enough to the state in taxes so I decline.  I laugh when they say well if the team wins you will be the only one here at work!  I also joke and say I can’t win, and then I have to give a bunch to my Ex!  I obviously would it’s the right thing to do, well and I would be legally be obligated to lol… But it’s a fun joke I get to use.  I am divorced with a child there are fun jokes you get out of it.  I do wonder how nice it would be.  I would make sure my family and friends were set and helped out of course.  Give a lot to my church and some other charities.  Actually I’d probably help out so many people I’d have nothing left!  To imagine that kind of money is fun, lets your mind wonder and think about nice cars and fancy houses.  But remember my post about happiness.  Remember money can make you happy but not for ever.  It is just a short term fix; well that’s how I feel.

    My Dad told me his father, my late grandfather I never met told him the only real money is the money you sweat and bleed for.  I always lived by this, working since I was 15, washing dishes, waiting tables, cooking and moving up to better and better jobs.  I have always appreciated gifts of money at holidays and events.  I guess I never though about a large amount.  An amount that would make me never have to work again.  I think I would still work.  Depending on the amount you can burn that pretty fast and find you’re broke.  There are many stories of lottery curses and people that invest poorly and end up broke.  “With great power, comes great responsibility”.  I think for now I will save my $1 and tell the state thanks, but no thanks. 

    I have always heard the saying money goes to money.  Have you ever noticed the people that already have money end up the ones winning or just getting deals.  Now granted there are the lottery winners that are not rich but it always seems that money likes to be around it’s self.  When I was in college I was working at a country club.  I loved this job and one day a golfer came in told his buddies he went and got a $10 scratcher at the store and won $10,000.  He cashed it in had a bank take out the correct federal and state amounts. (I never knew you could even do that).  And got about $8,000 left when it was all taxed.  He was buying drinks for his buddies.  I was like really?  He was a doctor to, just in case you were wondering.  Now I know they do job that is very hard, well he’s a Gyno but they all get good pay.  He was also older so it’s not exactly like he had student loans.  I just laughed and said of course he would win… 

    I guess if I did ever win some form of money I would rather win something minor.  I can split it with family and just pay off some bills and maybe throw a small party.  Something that wouldn’t draw attention to everyone and I can just continue through my day.  Maybe fix up my house a little put some away for Quinn even take a long weekend and go somewhere and relax.  When I think about all the money I end up thinking it would be nice, but with the family, friends and community I have, I'll be okay.

    When it comes to a big payout you become the center of attention and I don’t need or want that.  How ever I would like to spend some to fix up my blog!  Maybe get my own website.  Well the possibilities are endless I guess when it comes to that. But like that always say…  “New York Lotto, hey you never know.”

Until next time,
May good fortune rain down on you.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A break from the week

Today I decided to post a video form the weekend! I usually put up a cute pic but today I wanted to share a video I took.  When Quinn plays with her toys she never plays with this sheep I got when I bought a Certa Mattress.  They give you those fun sheep.  

Well no matter what I do she just will not include him!  So I usually let him set next to me and he watched her play.  No stuffed animal left behind!!!

Have a great week, and remember It's Wednesday! 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tuesday's Tip

  I decided to start dedicating Tuesdays to a tip day.  Offering advise on any subject and hoping to get replay's and comments and other tips out there...

       Today's Tip:  Mealtime with a 3 year old...

    As my daughter got older I noticed she would pay more attention to me and what I’m doing.  More specifically what I eat for my meals.  I would ask her what she wanted to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner and make it.  Then I would sit down with something different and guess what...  "Daddy, I want that!"  I tired different things like telling her to eat food or that this is Daddy's food. 

    If we would go out to dinner I got the same response.  "Daddy can I have a bite"?  Well over time I did some reading and talking to other parents and just realized my child is just learning and she really wants to just be like me.  Like us, our kids adore us so of course they want to mirror us.  I learned some tricks that may help with mealtime.

If you are eating in:
    Talk to your child about some options and if you are eating the same thing then that will probably have no effect.  If you are eating something different get ready they probably will ask for it.  If you don’t want them to have it or think they are to young you can make it still and try to tell them.  You can also wait for them to nap or go to bed.  This is called the late night dinner plan.  I used to eat after she went down so it was easier. 

    You can also try to get your child to eat what you’re eating.  Hopefully it is healthy.  I used to just mix up some veggies and know she would say “no thank you”. Ha-ha.  Just recently I made a bowl and she wanted some and ate them I was happy she was trying good healthy things as well.  So make a nice healthy meal and encourage them to try some veggies or healthy food.  Your kids wanting to eat your food can work in your favor to get them to eat healthy! 

    If you need to sneak a snack, just try to slip one in the kitchen.  I've come out of my kitchen chewing and Quinn goes, "Daddy what you eating"?  I though I was sneaky but I know now how darn smart she is getting and I can't pull that fast one anymore...  Just recently when I get fish Fry's with my buddy on Friday's she used to try a little piece here and there.  Now she can't get enough!  She loves them!  I now give her a large piece and she just eats it up!    So now when we get fish I will ask her do you want your own?  She replays, "No I'll eat yours". Ha-ha...  I’ve learned how to almost get mealtime down pretty good but I am still learning.

If you are eating out: 
    When I go out I usually get something I will enjoy and if she wants it I don't mind sharing.  That's just part of being a Dad.  Parents when it comes to food get used to eating half of your dinner.  Just remember that your child is experiencing new things for the first time so to them it's new and exciting!  Also always go to a place where they will have food your child will like.  You don’t want to go to a place and have your poor child not enjoy anything.  It took some time to learn the in’s and outs but I feel pretty good and I know you will to!

 So remember when eating try to eat healthy and let them try your healthy foods.  They will learn to like them early and grow up eating them.  Explain what you are eating and what they can eat and yes they are only children but I do find if you just talk to them they will listen and understand.  They will ask a bunch of questions but that's just them growing.

    Don't forget to teach them to share.  When we sit down and have a snack or treat I split up the snack and make sure she understands that I get a part of it to instill she can't have everything she wants.  Sharing is a major part of life and with food it gets harder.  Food is something people don't always love to share.  Remember it is the source of energy for us to live off of.  So if we have cookies for example I put two or maybe four on a plate.  It all depends on the size of the snack, now people that know me will laugh and say whatever Chris you put 8 cookies.  I then tell Quinn okay here is our snack now let’s share and I’ll explain what a good split is.  Then she gets excited because she knows her section of the snack.   She will even point and say, "those are you cookies, these are mine".  It's really cute and good to know she is starting to understand these fundamentals.

    The thing also about sharing is you will notice your child will share their food with you.  This shows they are learning and not only love you but are willing to give up their food.  This shows a lot about them and is very good.  Don’t push them to give you things but you can feel free to ask and test the waters.

    When your child grows up they will be more willing to share and get alone with others.  Now kids are different but that’s another topic...  When it comes to eating always remember to you need to eat!  If you are finding you child is constantly asking you what you’re eating or you just can't seem to sit down and have one thing try to eat when they are busy or sleeping.  Also tell them, ”this is daddy's/mommies food, you have your dinner so does daddy/mommy."  If they want some well, you may have to switch a piece of chick or something for a chick finger... :)  Compromise... It will be on a later Tuesday Tip!  We will get to that later!

I hope this helps and like always I love your comments and ideas!

Always remember, 
You are never alone...

Monday, March 26, 2012

Happiness... Is it still out there?

    I sit down and wonder if happiness took a vacation or if it's right behind us and sometimes we don't know it.  Happiness is a funny thing, I think of the things that make me happy.  My family, friends the fact I have a nice job and home and am loved and love others.  I try to live not being happy with elements like things and stuff but yes I will admit there are things I do love, and make me happy.   I red one of my favorite blogs tonight about happiness.  A blog from a friend and fellow single dad blogger Dan.  It was called Happiness and the very different groups of people looking for it The post talks about different groups and how and what makes them happy.  A very good post and I will allow you to read it on your own and think about it. I did enjoy the post and just think that yes there are groups of people that look for happiness, how the find it and how they interact with the other ones out there...

    I still think today in this world there is happiness still.  There is a recession, unemployment, war, and things going on around the world we don't see.  And when we go home to our homes with all things that a lot of people don't have do we ask our selves at the end of the night.  "Was I happy today"?  I recently did and found there were some nights I said Yes and some nights I said No.  But I look around my home and things I've worked hard for and realize that my family and friends, and fellow bloggers and things like  that are what truly make me happy.  Some religions say to have nothing is true happiness.  I honestly do feel this is true as well.  Now I just said earlier that yes I do love the things I own but yes if it all was gone and I was left with my family, friends then I would still be happy.

    After a divorce you realize with everything you have to go through that somethings are just well, things...  I know if you are reading this your asking, really Chris?  If you lost it all but your family and friends you would be okay..?  Yes. I would.  I have seen cities that have been demolished by hurricanes, tornadoes, and other disasters.  You see the people picking up their things but you see one thing they are all just happy to be there and have family.  They are just thankful to have their lives...  I though about how I would feel if i came home to nothing.  My things all over, my home in pieces.  I believe I would be in shock, but if my family and friends were okay that's all that matters.

    Before my divorce started I was in an argument with my ex and my buddy took a drive with me and we had a beer and talked.  I told him what we were going through and if it did happen I would lose all that stuff.  The deck we build, the things in the house, things we build or put together.  The vanity and sink I installed with my father and was so proud of.  My friend told me Chris, "Decks can be rebuild".  "Sinks and vanities can be bought and new memories made".   Well the divorce did go months later and with everyone I spoke to and helped me that was one of the things that keep me going.  When we think of happiness do we think about our TV, computer, video games?  Things that make us happy for a short time.  Or do we with about things that have come and never left... All things that came and went that made me happy for a period of time will never compare to and afternoon with my daughter in my arms watching TV just laying with me.  Or camping with friends, growing up with my parents and brother.  Having all my friends over and staying up all night with my parents just playing games drinking and dancing.  Things like doing dinners with my Aunt and late grandma and brother, hearing stories about how we drove them nuts but they still loved it.   Visiting family down south you only see every few years and just remember the touch, smell and all the senses you have lived through the years...

    Take a look at the chart and ask your self are you happy?  See the steps and think what you want to do.  After my divorce I wasn't sure I honestly wanted to be unhappy and stay that way.  Then I realized I did have to change something because others wanted to be happy and I realized that I was done being unhappy.  Figure out what you want to do.  But don't think you need a chart to realize this...

    I do feel every ones happiness is different, and it can and should be.   Family may not be your happiness, maybe it's music or reading a book.  Maybe it's taking a walk or a sport you love.  What ever it maybe enjoy it and if other see it and know it makes you happy they should embrace it and even keep an open mind.   

    When it all comes down to it i think that happiness is still there.  I think it will always push through and yes there are some people out there that are angry for no reason at all.  Some that have had things happen or were done that make them upset.  I think and still believe good will always win, happiness will always shine and that things like love will never die.

So i leave you all with this, never give up on happiness.  You are allowed to be down or sad it is life after all!  Happiness is something that is just easier to be!  After all it only takes 17 muscles to laugh and  43 to frown, so smile!! :)  After all, it is easier!!!

Although I do not know you... I do love you

Always remember,
You are never alone...


Sunday, March 25, 2012

Were not out of the woods yet!

So last week it was 75 degrees and I turned my heat off.  This week it's back on and my blogging in my sweatshirt.. haha That's Rochester for you!   We get a break in the weather and then back to the 30's!

Well this weekend was a good one!  Friday we did our HFM.  Quinn loves fish so much!  We know eat it a few times a week she can't get enough of it!  Well Friday we relaxed and just enjoyed the company.  Saturday we got up and had breakfast!  Took a long walk and went to the playground.  I was ready for pictures.  She got there and was like, "I wanna go home".  It was really chilly!  So we took a walk back and hung in.  It was so nice last weekend, then this one it dropped to 40 degree's...  Of course right.  Well there is nothing like just hanging out on the couch or playing with puzzles.

Quinn was excited to see her room!  My parents did a great job helping me.  Well I picked out the color and they painted the room just because of how busy I was.  It is so cute but we still have work to do.  The room is coming along and Quinn loves the color!!!

Saturday afternoon Quinn played in her room as I cleaned out her old cloths.  Now that winter is over I have been trying to keep up and get rid of all her old cloths.  I made piles and will donate or sell them off.  There are some cute things I have to give up!  I feel so good though.  Her room is cleaned up and all set for summer.  I will probably have to go shopping but that will be later.   Later that night we also made home made mashed potatoes!  Umm she loved them.  I left some of the skin in and she really loved it.  Try it some time.  Put some of the cleaned off skin in and mash them up.

But for now her room is all set.  When she napped I even cleaned out my room and found cloths I can get rid of and just organize.  It was something I have wanted to do for a long time and now feel great!  The rooms are cleaned up and now this week or the week after I plan on doing some work out side!

Sunday we went to breakfast after church and got some time to see Oma and Popi.  We played with our stuffed animals and just hung out.  Sunday is a hard day only because I have to have her home by 6.  Sucks ass.  There are weekends that i feel i just finally got her.  One of the struggles I work on over coming but it will probably never happen.  I just have move one and keep going.  As I work on my blog on the side I talk more about struggles like this.

Over all the weekend was amazing I just love seeing how she is growing up.  Sunday we were eating some cooked veggies and she loved them!  I find I have to eat when she goes down or I'll never get a bite in!  So I cooked some carrots, broccoli and cauliflower up and she loved it.  Well there goes that work around haha...  Well the thing that really got me was I looked back and she cleaned up the table and threw everything out for me.

I guess Sunday's blog is usually my hardest...  As I read other blogs and blog my self i find there are so many other single parents that are in the same boat.  I have some video of Quinn I just didn't get it loaded on my computer yet!  I have some cute pictures for everyone.

I look forward to again keep working on my blog and get it to be more helpful to others.  This week coming up I hope to get some work done on the house and send out some more post!

I hope this finds you all well...

Always remember,
You are never alone...

WOW! Look at the room!  Just in case your asking, why is she pointing to the ceiling?  She wanted it painted as well.  I told her we keep that white.  

I can't wait to show you the room when it's done!

Here are some of the cloths!  When I got done, the bed was covered!!!

We are making progress!

Quinn then came up and had my glasses on!

I told her to give me a good shot!  What a diva!!!

Saturday we made home made mashed potatoes!!!

There is always time for puzzles!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Tuesday Video!

This week I selected David Gray and the song "This Year's Love".  I dedicated this post to all the single people either you are a parent like my self or not.  Maybe you have just gotten out of a relationship or if it ended long ago and you are wondering if you should give love a second try...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Happy Spring Forward!

Time to move the clocks ahead and say goodbye to winter! (we hope)

So this past weekend we sprung forward an hour.  Now if it were up to me i would move the hour up on Monday at 4:00pm EST so I can move my clock to 5:00 and go home for the day! :)  But that's just me...  Friday we hung in with Hughey and had some dinner and a movie...  Laying on the couch with Quinn is something I love so much.  I know as a parent one day she's going to outgrow her dad so I have to take each moment and treasure it for as she grows I know her parents will take a back seat to friends... :(

Saturday we got up and went to the Sandbox!  She was so excited to get there.  We spent the afternoon running around and just being kids!  I love going to the sandbox and just not only watching her run around but also play with small toys.  She is getting to the age where she plays with toys by her self and uses her imagination.  As I sat in the beanbag and sat back I saw here playing with some toys and a small doll house.  I could tell her imagination was in full swing and she was just learning, growing and having fun.  There were a set of twin boys fighting around her over a toy.  I saw them struggle for it and as the one got it the other showed his anger...  I wanted to see how they would act around Quinn.  They didn't really get in her way probably because she was bigger then they were so they didn't want to even try.  Plus the both saw me sitting there too.

Saturday we settled in after dinner I don't want to over tire her just because it is getting nicer out.  Sunday we got up and had breakfast with my parents.  They came over and we all went out.  After we went to the park!  It was good to see Quinn enjoy her grandparents.  We ran around, went down the slide and enjoyed a good swinging.  Later we made a fort with her toys and some blankets!  She loves making forts!

I did get some work done this weekend.  I cleaned the gum wood trip all around my downstairs windows and trim.  I used Murphy Oil Soap, does a great job and it really protects the wood.  Not sure exactly why I felt I needed to blog that but I love it.  I guess it's one of the products I endorse.  It does such a good job and the house looks so beautiful...

Other than that the weekend was great, anytime I have my daughter is a great weekend...   I think this weekend was amazing just to again see how big she is getting and how her imagination is taking off.  Watching her play by her self as i watch in the distance.  I remember how I used to play by my self with my toys and know that as a parent I know she loves when I'm there but sometimes just playing alone is just as important...

Back to the Sandbox!!!

Just watching her play and letting her imagine go...

I made sure I got my work out on!

I played with some trains!

There is always time to lay with Daddy.

There's my dad!

Oma and Popi came to play.

Running around and keeping them busy!

So remember parents playing with your children is very important but letting them play alone and use their imagination is also helpful, you're not bad parents for not having to be next to them every second of the day.  Enjoy them growing and using their imagination, and watch them grow!

Enjoy the pics and always remember...
You are never alone...

Video Tuesday

One of my favorite Green Day Songs.  They have had a lot of good hits over the years but when this song came out it was a breath of fresh air.  The lyrics just hit me as a single dad trying to survive...  


Green Day
21 Guns

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Some Post just don't need words...

Video Tuesday

A video just to take a break from posting.  T-Pain's one of my favorite artist and I do love this song...

I think everyone's had a 5 O'clock in the morning feeling...

Sunday, March 4, 2012



Sometimes I just feel I'm stuck it the same rotation, work and then I have Quinn, then work, then Quinn...   I was reading on of my friends blogs about being Overwhelmed.    Far to often single parents with jobs and school and housework can just tire you out.  Now just having a child can do this as well single or not!  My heart goes out to all parents!  But with single parents your doing a lot with 1/2 the help usually...

This week I worked my main job and my second job a few nights then the weekend came I worked it and finally got home Sunday and had to get the house in order.. Ugh.. Laundry, little cleaning stuff like that.  I sat down and saw it was past 10! Where did the weekend go!!  Living on my own has been hard, working two jobs isn't a hobby...  With gas going up and things like cable thinking they own the TV business so they can just charge what ever we as the consumer have to just pay or threaten to move too something else.

We work, get home make dinner get some things done like laundry or pick up.  For the single parents that have their kids maybe more than others they have their hands full with dinner and getting the kids ready for bed all in time for you to just fall on the couch.  Now a modern family even all together is very busy so I am giving props to all parents reading this first of all.  For the other parent that my not see their child as much maybe they have a second job like myself. As the weekend comes to a close I know monday comes in only a few hours and I'm not looking forward to it.  I tell my self this year or maybe next will be the last one for my other job but who knows.

Yesterday on my lunch break I put my head down at my other job I work a little when I don't have Quinn.  I passed right out.  I fell asleep and woke up about 15 minutes later.  One of the staff couldn't believe I did.  I told them they didn't know me well everyone else would just say, "Shh, Chris's sleeping" But weather it's sleeping on lunches or a power nap here or there, lot's of single parents are burning out fast.

I did go out Saturday after work to see friends.  I had to it was long over due.  I sucked it up and spend some time out just catching up with some old friends.  I was running on fumes but it was good to see them.  I didn't stay out long but it brought my spirits up.

I woke up this morning and my knee hurt to the point I couldn't even straighten it, ugh...  I talk to the other guys at my other job that also have full time jobs and work there for help.  Its been a difficult past couple years with the economy the way it is.  Gas going up, food cost up, it seems everything is going up except wages.  I don't even really want to follow the election.  It seems why?  Is our president going to fix our economy?  Will the next guy?  Everyone that applies for the job of president has a lot of promises but even more excuses when things don't get done.

I wonder what we are in store for the next few years.  As for now I continue to work both jobs saving the best I can.  So I will press on taking donations of food and other needed items from family :)  and relaxing when I can sometimes even sleeping on lunch breaks but its what I have to do to give my daughter a safe home and food on the table.

As single parents or even parents in a relationship, work on not getting burned out.  Find time to rest, make time for your self.  Reading or some TV, maybe a bath or nap.  For the single parents with kids do your best to squeeze in time.  When your child is in bed or maybe at school.  Think about taking a day off of work or having a family member watch them.  Have your Ex take them.  Then you have a win win!  You get to relax and your child gets to see their dad, or mom what ever the case is.   Either way your Body, Mind and Spirit need to rest.  Your no good to your self, child, job or just the general public if your over tired or just run down.  If you can't take care of your self you can't take care of you child.

Are you burning out and need some pointers or tips on how to relax?  Let me know...
Anyone with ideas please post!

Always remember,
You are never alone...