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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Tuesdays Tip: Don’t get upset when they display your flaws…

         As Quinn has been growing up I have seen some trates from both sides but I have seen ones that I relate to.  I see her testing the waters like any other child, but I see her do things I have one done in my life time and I have seen her display them  the way I would to.  How she acts or gets upset.  I used to get upset and think she was trying to just not listen but the I realized that some of the things she does I did the same exact way so now I have moved on to just controlling how I get upset and working with her.  I remember when I was young I was quite the little one.  I remember pushing my parents to the limit and just always questioning them why.  I see that in her sometimes and I don’t get upset because how we act can be related with our family tree.   Now we are all different but some small things do pass down I feel and believe. 

                I just remember one, she is a kid and testing the waters and also to just keep working on explaining how to act in certain times.  Like the importance  of sharing and making sure we play with our friends.  I have been working on just letting her know not everything is her’s and we need to play fair or people won’t want to play at all.  I gave her a glass of my drink over the weekend and she said “mine” and held it tight.  I explained that was my drink and I was sharing it with her.  I do fear with the way people are it will take some time.  Our culture is so into just sometimes looking out for ourselves I feel it’s an uphill battle.  I just keep pushing the fact that things aren’t importing that toys and our stuff is nice but we share them and objects are not to be praised. 
We work hard for them and can enjoy them but we shouldn’t worship them.  I will work on the sharing with her as well.  It takes time and just learning how to play fair and that once you do you can have fun and everyone will win!  I can remember my parents explained how important sharing was.  Also how that parents and family work very hard to support  the family and not to be spoiled.  I grew up in a nice home with food on the table every night. We didn’t have cable or a lot of toys but my brother and I  had a very good home and would play with the neighborhood kids.  My parents gave us what they could and showed us the value of that. 
As I help raise Quinn I am doing this as best I can.  When she throws a temper tantrum I can see my past and that I used to.  I just try to relax her and let her think about it.  I let sit and just cool down in her room if she gets upset or fails to listen but I don’t yell or scream at her or get upset.  I can remember my parents letting me cool down and would have me sit and just think about what I did.  Taking away privileges or a time out is much better than losing your cool and showing them how upset you get.   Remember some of their traits came from you.
So next time you see your little one expressing something negative remember how you were once a child and keep your cool. If they do something just correct them and explain to them.  Also  if there are others around tell them maybe they need a time out, sometimes Quinn things because there are other around nothing will happen but I give her a warning and she listens.  She doesn’t want a time out around others.  Think back to how your parents handled you and try to pass that on. 
Always remember,
You are never alone…

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