This hits me very close to home for all who know me because I do pay child support for Quinn and yes my ex and I get in disagreements but only because over time things with us have gotten worse. I have paid since I moved out on time every time. When I first moved out I worked a lot almost two full time jobs and as time went on it started to show I was unhealthy and tired but I did it because that's what we do. Things got tough when my ex moved on with her new husband and moved to a nice home and were doing very well. She will always say till the end I don't wish her well but I do. However when Kayla and I struggle and pay someone that could easily help us by lowering it or taking it away and us just working more together, well it gets frustrating.
We work very hard and after we pay support we have to support Quinn as well, this is why so many people paying get upset because they pay support then have to still buy things for the child because they have them too. Now my ex pays for a lot of her stuff of course and some things she doesn't charge me for which is nice. However it is a difficult task now a days to pay and then support your self. Any parent that moved out and started over and now pays I hope reads this and knows they are not alone.
Please know like I do we have to pay. Yes it is the law but our obligation to just be a good parent. Try not to get frustrated or upset. I have worked so hard to let go of my frustration that still shows and I am not proud of it. However it isn't easy, some may pay support and have more or less rights and everyone is different. I do't hate paying it, I just hate paying it then not having much left over to treat Quinn to something fun or special because now times are tight. It isn't easy leaving a housing complex that is upper class and feeling hurt when your child wants to go to dinner but you have to go home and see what you have. Anyone who doesn't pay or ever gone thought this, if you don't understand don't try to. I'm sorry I don't mean to be mean but you have no idea the frustration. Well we all do kinda. We all pay taxes to a Government that waste our money or has corrupt leaders so kinda we do. However that's a whole different story!
Let's not forget about the reverse as well, the Mothers or Fathers receiving this money who really truly need it to support the family and the ones paying who make a lot more and fight to pay it. I have friends that collect it and the father of the children fought paying in the beginning. There are two sides for sure. It just depends on the parents, either way we should work together, even if the parents just talked and said how can we work together so we all make it financially and we all have an easier life... I tear up writing this because it just doesn't happen...
So as this month comes and goes please think about where your money is going and that I hope the person collecting is using it correctly. For those collection please use it for the reason it was started. For those paying and having hard times or working a lot I am sorry. I know what you are going through and I am here.
So take this month to understand if you know someone paying it can be difficult and if you know someone receiving, they are getting it for a reason and in the end its all for the kids. It is a hard subject to talk about but it is there and knowing there is a month dedicated to it makes us feel we are not alone. Yea it sucks paying I know but it's okay. When Quinn hugs me all those long hours and late nights melt away and everything just seems to be okay. Please take this month to see what is offered and out there. Talk to help centers and different agencies that can help or give guidance.
Some see this...