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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tuesdays Tip: Just because you’re not scared doesn’t mean they aren’t

This past weekend Quinn came downstairs both nights to get me because she was scared after she went to sleep.  I put her to bed at her normal time and she brushed her teeth, we red some books and listened to music.  I laid her in bed and we said some prayers and she turned to sleep.  I went back down stairs and though I was set to watch a movie with Hughey and she snuck down.  Her little voice whispered “I’m Scared Daddy”.  Back up I carried her and went in her room, I tucked her in and asked why she was scared or what made her scared about her room.  She told me there were scary noises and I know her room is larger so I can see it happening.  I told her to try sleeping one more time buy when I got to the door I could tell she was getting up.  I went into my room and when I got back she was by her door upset and starting to cry.  Her whimper  just melted my heart.  As a parent if your child does something they shouldn’t I can understand making them sit in their room, but when they are scared you just can’t help but let them stay with you. 

I remember when I was younger my parents comforting me and how nice it was.  Her room is bigger than mine so I know how scared she must be.  I told her she can crash in my room and she was excited.  She laid down in my bed by the cat and got all catty.  I told her she needed to sleep though and not to get all excited because she does need to go back to her room.  I don’t want her to think this is what she can do every time.  When I went to bed that night I picked her up and put her in her bed just because I want to make sure she knows she can sleep there and it is a safe room.  That morning I woke to her next to me. Lol.  Well she snuck back in!  It was okay, I don’t mind because I don’t see her that much.

The following night I asked her as we were walking up the stairs if she felt scared and she said she didn’t.  We red our books, listened to music, and brushed our teeth.  I was down stairs with Hughey again just watching some TV and she came down again.  My little munchie again was scared.  I took her back up and talked to her but she was just to upset to hear it.  I let her crash in bed again.  This night I took her out and put her in her room later that night.  Later I heard her get up and she walked to my room, I asked if she was okay and she answered “yea, I just wanted to say bye”.  Bye? Was she going on a trip I didn’t know about?  I hope she has her bags packed!  I knew she couldn’t sleep so I asked her if she wanted to come stay next to daddy.  She let out an excited yea and started to climb in.  She realized she forgot her bunny (stuffed animal that is) and ran to go get it.  I don’t mind her next to me much, she does move a lot and kick me, (lol) but only seeing her as much as I do I could care less.  I know it’s a phase they will grow out of but I still make sure she spends time in her room at night because she needs to know it is a safe place.  She enjoys playing in it during the day so I know there is a part of her that loves it. 

Sometimes I like to think she just misses her Daddy…

            So for some tips I would urge you to let your child talk to you and tell you what’s wrong if they can’t sleep.  If they are scared then talk to them and try to comfort them.  Always let them know you are listening and not blowing them off  If a child feels scared and then feels their parent isn’t listening or doesn’t care this will only make them more scared and feel less comforted.  Letting them stay in your bed is okay from time to time but they also need to know that their bed is where they sleep and Mommy and Daddy need to sleep too.  Nothing will break your heart than when they cry out that they are scared however. 

            Work on just moving them back to their bed and as time goes on they will stay there.  Heck they may not come back and you will miss the days when they crashed next to you.  Enjoy them and always remember being scared, and feeling fear especially in a child is different than us.  We may not scar as easy but to them the comfort of a nice bed that Daddy or Mommy use will put them at ease…

Always remember…
You are never alone.
Love Christopher

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