"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Tuesday's Tip: Vacations,Holidays & Single Parenting...

     Over the past several years I have given many tips about how single parents can help with the fact that it might be a holiday and you won't have your child.  I also talked about the fact that it might be a vacation week and you have to go a little bit longer without seeing them.  Well today I just wanted to re-up this and give all my fellow parents that have a child they share with someone else how to keep from getting lonely or nervous.

     The holidays can be a very difficult time especially if you have to split up the time and only see your child half of it or none of it even.  This can make your day very long.  Keeping busy has always been one of my best tips.  Spending it with loved ones is also very supportive.  Just calling your child to say hi and see how their day is going is very important to you and the child.  When I first started off years ago I had pretty bad nights not even thinking about holidays that is.  It was difficult there were many lonely nights and times when depression can set it if you don't do something.  Time will always help but in the beginning stages yes you can find yourself sitting alone and the seconds can feel like hours.  Sometimes a holiday will be next to a vacation so you won't see your child for a longer period of time.  Quinn is on Spring break with her Mom and it was her Easter so I didn't see her and I won't see her this week.

     As time moved on things of course did get better, as Quinn got older she was more aware and knew the time with each parent was important.  She also would call and be able to speak for a longer time frame which helps.  I also had Kayla in my life over time that really helped me.  I know moving on after a divorce or while raising a child as a single parent seems miles away for someone maybe that is right at the start of this all but never give up on hope.  I was such a different person several years ago and now so excited to share my life with along with Quinn.  So here are some tips below to help you out when you may find it isn't your time to spend with your child on a holiday or vacation...

1)  Know the vacation or holiday is coming up  and make sure you are aware if it is your time with your child or not.  Know the calendar year and what the agreement you have is.

2)  Make plans if it isn't your holiday.  This past Easter we didn't have Quinn so we went and visited Kayla's family.  We made plans to keep busy and have a good holiday.

3)  Take the time to get ready for the holiday.  We made Quinn an Easter basket, we know we didn't have her on the day but we can celebrate after.  Kids really don't care as long as you are excited and well they get more stuff...

4)  Be excited, tell your child yes it may not be the holiday you see them but tell them how exciting it will be and when you get back you all will celebrate.

5)  Call your child on the holiday if you don't see them and say hi and ask them how their day is going!  Be excited to talk to them and hear their voice.  This might be the best tip I can give.  Show your child they even though it isn't your turn you still wanted to hear their voice and that you stopped everything that day to talk to them.

     There are many other tips however I think the biggest is to just find something to do and keep your mind occupied, reach out to your child and talk to them.  Let them know that when you see them again your will celebrate with them!  If the holiday is by a vacation some reason and it won't be for a week till you see your child don't stress.  Just remember the tips I told you.  Remember next year that holiday will most likely be yours and you will have them that time.

     Most importantly work together!  Work with the child's mother or father and always put their interest first...

If you have any tips you may have learned along the way please share!

Always remember,
You are Never Alone...


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