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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Tuesday's Tip: Working on getting them to listen

     When it comes to listening, well do we ever?  My parents still have to tell me things more than once.  When it comes to Quinn I have to tell her a few times over and over but she is still young.  I think it's human nature to hear things but not always compute them.  I have learned a few things over the past few years and one thing is trying not to yell when I need her to do something important.  The other day she reached down to pick up some trash she thought was something important and I stopped her and raised my voice.  I did this in part because I know she still sucks her thumb sometimes and being a nail biter my self we have to keep our hands clean.  I know I am trying to stop my own bad habit...  She got upset and I told her I am just trying to keep her save, after we cleaned her hands I explained that things on the ground have germs and can make us feel sick.  She understood after I explained it but its hard.  Sometimes I feel she doesn't listen.

  A few things I try to do, before we go someplace I try to tell her in advanced like not to touch or to stay close to Me.  Lay some grounds rules down before you do something so they know a head of time and aren't caught off guard.  You can also remind them what you talked about if things go astray.  The other thing is when you talk to them look them in the eyes and let them see you, don't try to talk to them as your doing something or leaving.  They may not hear you or it may just go in and out.  You can tell there maybe small rewards for listening however don't always use this.  You shouldn't have to reward on everything.  Once kids get the base floor down they will get better and better and it. 

   As they get older you just have to keep instilling that they have to listen to you because that's how it just works.  It may take time and you may have to tell them a few times.  If you are a single parent and your child has more than one household it will be harder too because the other parent may have different rules and this can make things harder when it comes to listening and behaving. 

     I found some great tips on a site called Kidspot it talks about how to help get your kids to listen.
Here was the 5 tips it offered.

5 tips for getting kids to listen
  • 1. Be reasonable in requests. Is what you are asking really necessary? Does it really have to be done right now in the way you want it done? Is there room for flexibility?
  • 2. Try not to interrupt your children too much. They may be only "playing", but play is some of the most important work they can do. They may be in the middle of their favorite tv show. Wait until the ads. Show the same respect you expect of them toward you.
  • 3. Don't demand everything NOW! Instead, get their attention, explain what you are after, and set a mutually agreeable time table. It might be today, it might be within an hour, or it might be in the next five minutes. But don't demand it now unless it needs to be done now.
  • 4. Use gentle reminders. Instead of being upset, making a commotion, and inviting resistance, simply say your child's name and one or two words about what is required. For example, "Josh, please pack your lunchbox."
  • 5. Get your child's attention, and speak softer and softer. The irony is that when we shout, people switch off. It's offensive. But when we speak softly they strain to take in every word we say. Your message will get across with focused soft speaking. 
When I looked over this site I really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it.  I hope the following tips help.  Remember kids are still growing and they take time to listen and learn so be easy on them and work with them...

Always remember,
You are never alone...


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