"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Standing up for a Father's Rights...

     So tomorrow is Quinn's commencement from Kindergarten! I can't wait to put up some pics when we go tomorrow.  Well I went to pick up Quinn and I already knew her Mom was going to push for me to bring her to her house early to get her ready.  She asked me last fall when it was her picture day and then I said ok.  This time however I told her we already had a dress for her and she should have let me know earlier what she was thinking.  I knew we were heading for a disagreement I just didn't want to start one.  I told her last time we did this I did bring her early and that this time I would like to dress her and get her ready.  Easy to think about right? You had her last time I'll take her this time...  You would think she would agree and be excited for Quinns Father to be excited and involved.

     Her issue is that Kayla is helping get Quinn ready and she can't accept that.  I told her her we both are raising her and that I can get her dressed and it isn't just Kayla.  She told me it's a Mom's job to get her ready I asked her what my job was then?  I just approve boyfriends?  Well I just want to go and she always holds me up and ambushes me with this stuff of course.  Then Quinn of all people sat up and said stop, stop fighting over me.  She said we can just rotate, Daddy can get me ready one time, the next is Mom.  How smart are our kids...  I said thats a great idea Quinn!  Her Mom didn't listen she just pushes for the win.  After trying to again tell her we will talk about it later Quinn was sad and got upset.  She then didn't want to go, again if my ex can't win she will hurt anyone even our own child.  She said to Quinn they would dress up another time and she said ok.  So Quinn had another idea, she said how about they bring the dress to my house and she can look at both.    I again said it was a great idea, Quinn comes up with two ideas and her Mom finally says ok and they go get it.

     So they went in and got the dress, and we were off.  I texted her after and just told her all she had to do was tell me earlier what she was thinking.  I told her I email her days and even weeks ahead of time on events and things so she knows.  I just told her I want to be apart of Quinn's life and I am excited for this.  After texting back and fourth pretty much me upset because for years I have asked and fought for extra time with Quinn where she has her more.  Well we went back and fourth and I honestly just don't know what to say but what can I say.  I'm arguing to see and be involved in my daughters life and my ex just wants to have her way.  She ended with her saying I don't see it and thats it.  I told her I don't feel bad and for the years of me being alone and working hard to give Quinn a good life now she doesn't get her way. Sorry but I just had enough.  For years I've gone by her ways and asked for things where she would just say no or say its routine.  Well you can only take so much and I'm done being pushed around.  So if something does land on my day or time I will be up to talk but I'm not gonna be pushed around anymore.

     So that was it and upset yes mainly because she won't ever learn and I just hope Quinn doesn't spend her life trying to make her happy.  If you spend your life making another happy like a parent you won't be...  Live your life and make yourself happy...  What will happen next, well next we will just take time and cool off like usual.  Things pass but next time we will see.  I will again try to be calm and patient but I just hope it doesn't soon...  I told Quinn that night I was so proud of her on how she tried to make it all work.  She is such a good and smart kid, as I sat next to her in bed as she got ready I told her she is such a smart and amazing girl and I will always fight for her and have her back.  I told her its over also and not to worry anymore about it.

     Now if you are reading this it may sound like a vent post however it is not.  Many single parents work hard to put food on the table, a roof under their heads and cloths on their backs.  There are very good fathers and mothers out there that get taken advantage of by the other parent and it isn't fair.  I stand up for both Mom's and Dad's who are taken advantage of.  Kayla is frustrated because she is so good to Quinn, and Quinn loves he so much yet she can't get Quinn ready without my ex getting upset because it's not her.  Well it's a divorce, and yes they are sad but you can't divorce someone and then expect everything to go your way, thats how it was for me for a while until now.  I'm done and over it and from now on I am standing up for not just Kay and I but Quinn.  She needs time with her Father its just that important.

     I guess what just also upsets me is if Quinn is happy then let her be happy!  If it was reverse I would totally be excited for her, parents can be mad or fight but let the child have the best interest and she just looks out for her own.  Worst part is there are so many single Mom's that would beg for the fathers to be more involved or try more.  Quinn's happy and excited to get ready tomorrow here and it's all going to be ok.  My Ex is just my Ex...  Well it was a tough week however with the whole soda argument that I blogged about and now this!  I sometimes can't wait to have Quinn grow up and see the truth her self...  Until then she needs a Dad and I will be in her corner.

     Always try to just talk but remember you can be bullied by adults.  Just be calm and do your best...

This is what we fight for...
Never give up

Always remember,
You are never alone...



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