Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Tuesday’s Tip: Excitement!
I find whenever I need to get something done or go some place if I make it exciting or I sound excited around Quinn she feels the same way! Picking her up can be hard because she may not want to come or play shy but if I sound excited or tell her things we well be doing she get very excited and jumps right in the car. When you show your child how excited you are they see that and trust you, then they get excited as well. It is easier to attract them with sugar than vinegar. Now I know some day’s it not easy, some days it may just down right impossible to feel excited. You pick up your child then feel she is gone soon after. Being a single parent that has visitation rights sucks, I’m sorry it just does but we has parents have to just realize it is what it is right now and keep moving forward.
I also find excitement can help if you can’t do something and they want to. For example most of the times I pick her up she wants to go out to dinner and well I can’t. So I try to explain something else we will be doing like playing at the house or going to a playground. It works sometimes, other times not. Some days she really wants to go out to eat! Some times I just tell her straight up why we can’t do something or if we have to do something also. However there is nothing like seeing your child’s eyes light up though when they get to get that time with you. Not to long ago I was getting Quinn out of the car and she looked at the back yard and wanted a fire. I said well we have to get fire pit built. She asked if we can get one. I told her I was building one this summer and we would have fires by it! She got so excited and happy! “Yea, were going to get a fire pit and have fires and have snacks!” I just laughed and said yes now lets get inside…
I can’t wait to get the back yard setup and have that pit ready. She is going to be so excited I have no idea what I’m going to do! Emotions are a funny thing in life. I think excitement is one of the best, being a single dad that is. Just the look of love and happiness rolled into one emotion staring up at you is something words can’t describe. The excitement in a child is as innocent as it gets. A love you can’t describe, a pure love and hope for you. Laughter and happiness, smiles and joy sometimes not seeing her for days even a week just all disappears when I hear her voice and I get that big hug.
Being a single Dad has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. For a divorce I still don’t understand till this day I is something that I just have to accept and move on. I have been trying when we go out to show her how excited I am so she knows some of the things that Daddy loves to do. The only thing I advise it please don’t use excitement in a bad way. Don’t taunt or tease your child with it, don’t get them excited for nothing or give them false hope. Excitement maybe beautiful but it can get ugly if used for the wrong reason or used to mislead. With excitement also grows trust, have your child trust you and grow with you. Don’t let them grow up disappointed or knowing what you do to excite them will end in false hope. That my readers is a tradady. When a child just knows their parents excitement will end in false hopes.
Our children will always come back to us, always trust us, love us. It is human nature, only an event that is catastrophic will bring a child to finally give up on a parent. I don’t even like thinking about it. I’ve even heard Quinn say “I’m sorry” if I get frustrated I feel awful and explain what is going on and talk to her. I just don’t have the time to loose over that. There never is, but getting upset and working on behavior is another tip, for another day…
Just always know that excitement is something to use for good and be true when you do use it. Don’t give false hope or pretenses.
Excitement…A little bit goes a long way…
"Excitement is the drunkenness of the spirits. Only calm waters reflect heaven in their bosom."
~Marguerite de Valois
Have a bless day and remember,
You are never alone…