I got out of work early and txted Quinns mom I was coming over early to get her and if that was okay. When I got there she met me at the door and just told me she was eating dinner. I told her no problem and that I'd be in the car waiting. I sat and waited and just talked to a few people but it wasn't easy. I guess because on Fridays I really want to take her to dinner and even though the separation papers say I have to get her at 6 but it's so hard because I get out before then. As I sat in the jeep I tried to not get upset or think about the fact that it would have been nice for her to say take her early and that would have been so cool. I guess sometimes its just hard and I feel we don't have the nice relationship where she wants me to take her early or sooner. I don't think we will ever get to that level because she never likes giving her up. Easter weekend was my weekend but her Easter, so in good faith I told her to just have Quinn the whole weekend to try to get good ideas of the fact that we can switch or share off the ground.
Now I remind you I gave up my weekend and I am the parent that never see's her. It just hurts because over time I'm not going to want to work with her because when I ask for a Sunday night or extra day I feel I get pushed aside. I also never find out if she isn't feeling well or goes to the doctor or dentist until Quinn her self tells me. I guess sometimes I don't even feel like I'm important or even the father. I feel like a guy who has to ask for permission to see his kid and that she is the boss and everything has to be approved by her. The frustration boils over but when we do communicate she does talk to me and update me. She ended up txting me later that night telling me her phone was in her car and that she just got my txt. The one I told her I was coming over early. It's okay when I was in the car I didn't get upset. I used my time in the car to not get mad or angry but to test my self and realize this is what it is.
Any advise I would give to new single fathers or mother that has to visit kids is to just close your eyes and breath... Just slow everything down and remember to be excited and show your child you are going to have a great weekend. It is hard when her mom says that she will see her Sunday. It makes me feel like the weekend is so short. I look to the future and tell my self it will be okay. Maybe one day she will want to spend more time with me and if she is older she can tell her mother that. She may want to live with me one day and that is totally okay.
As this year rolls on I pick Quinn up and drop off easier but yet it still will always be hard. As time has passed I have adapted to my life style. It isn't easy going through life and talking to couples that tell me they get to see their kids every day and sometimes hear them complain that they haven't seen then all day or this or that is extremely hard. I just wanna say go a week buddy.... I guess it's just the frustration talking when people complain about a few hours and I go a week sometimes with out seeing her... I guess it just makes me stronger. I hope it does and I hope I can help out other parents that are going through this as well...