Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Spend time on the couch together and let them know you’re there…
Being a good parent involves things like love, time, support, encouragement, discipline, and a lot of hard work. Something’s though all it takes is to make sure your child knows you are there. You don’t always have to be playing or running around sometimes all they need is to hear the beating of your heart. After a long day of playing and learning I always make sure Quinn and I get a little time to just relax on the couch before bed or a nap. You always have to balance what you do with your child but always remember relaxing on the couch with a little TV or a movie isn’t a bad thing. It instills support and love.
Lying with your child instills them that there is safety and comfort. They are used to hearing a heart beat for 9 months so when they are born they feel most comfortable when you hold them to your chest. When Quinn was little I used to be up all night some times with her sleeping on my chest because if I moved her she would wake up and cry. The heartbeat is an amazing and magnificent thing. It has powers we just can’t explain and may probably never will. As time goes on they become more independent but you can still see it when they lay with you. They bond and connect with you. Being a single Dad I also only see my daughter a few times a month so letting her know I am there for her and to connect on a Daddy/Daughter level is very importing. She will ask me to lay with her and then put her head under my shoulder and res it on my chest as we watch TV. Maybe she does it because she knows she can stay up later, maybe because its comforting, or just because she misses her Daddy. Either way it is still one of my favorite things to do. To just hang out with your child and relax, no the chores will get done later, work isn’t calling, every ones set and you don’t have to rush or get up for anything at the moment.
I love playing games and showing her new things, letting her explore the world and just sit back and watch her grow up. When it comes to just relaxing on the couch and laughing there is just something special about sharing that time. At the end of the night she usually will ask me to sit or lay by here as we wind down I know she is little but I can’t imagine how much it must be hard only seeing her Daddy every couple times a month.
Growing up I can remember loving to be around my parents and just being next to them. I can remember waiting for my Dad to get home and how excited I was. My Mom stayed home as we grew up and it was really nice but there is just something about seeing the other parent, the one you don’t get to see as much come and hug you. The distance made me miss him more. My parents are still together but growing up my Dad went into work early and got home around dinner. He also had to go in late for issues and even trips outside of town. I remember him coming home and just how excited my brother and I were. We would run down the stairs and greet him with big hugs. I can remember him trying to watch the news at night and me sitting next to him and just being happy to be next to him. I can remember growing up loving to sit next to my parents and as I grew up I can remember the feeling of just always wanting to be close to them. When I got to high school and college just watching TV as a family every once and a while was just so much fun because it kept that closeness and made me remember what it was like being a kid.
Before I moved out we would have about 1 or 2 shows a week where we all sat down to watch as a family. TV is I think still okay in moderation, it does bring people together and I think is something that is an American activity that is healthy if monitored correctly. I find now when I go over I still move close to my parents or sit next to them. The gravity pull is still there and the feeling of wanting to be sitting next to them is deeply rooted in my body. I guess there is just something about being near them even at my age. It makes me feel safe and connected. I don’t get to see my family that much because of work and everything going on so when I do visit I try to be near them. I see my daughter sitting next to them to which is great because I always loved being near and close to my grandmother and my Oma, and Opa when I was growing up. Before you know it they grow old and pass on and then you can’t sit with them let alone see them.
So I encourage you lay with your child and sit by them. Give them space when they need it to grow but always let them know that parents are there for comfort and stability. A little time on the couch with Mommy or Daddy will give them a positive effect that will stay with them for every. Sometimes the biggest thing a parent can do for their child is just be there. Just hold them, show them you have nothing else in the world you would rather be doing then be there with them. I talk a lot in by blog about Time. I believe time is still one of the biggest assets and if you use it correctly it can work for you. Sometimes it can feel like a burden or obstacle, but if you can learn how to get through that you can master your time and show your loved ones that their time is precious to you and that is something they will never forget.
So I encourage you to take the time to sit and spend time with your child. Pick out a good show and just lay with them and show them you are there and you have nothing else going on but showing them you love them. If they are older plan a game night and maybe after just sit and make some popcorn and put on a movie. Put the phones away and don’t worry about all the websites they feel they have to be attached to. Start young and this feeling will grow with them they will come to you and want to spend time with you. Trust me… I do…
I hope everyone after reading this can spend some time with their child or parent…
You are never alone…