Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tues Tip: Letting her know her own room is okay...
I posted not to long ago about Quinn sleeping in my bed. Last week was her first night by her self. When we got back to my house we had dinner and then relaxed and got ready for bed. She asked if she could go in my bed later and I told her I wanted her to try to stay the whole night in her bed this time to try. She was sad but she did go down, it’s a hard thing to think about being a single Dad because I don’t see her that much so when she comes in later on in the night I don’t see it as a big deal but I know she has to stay in her own room to just get used to it. I don’t want her to just get in the routine that she comes in my bed for comfort. Remember we have to break out of our mold to make progress. When we are at work and have to take on a promotion or new job we are all nervous, but we learn and adapt. This is why I really push this, I don’t want her to think what is easy after time is always best, and you just have to tackle. Usually after we try something new that is out of our comfort zone we learn and then say “it wasn’t that bad”.
That night she woke up and came in to my room. I walked her back to her room and she wasn’t happy about it. I felt bad but I want to make sure she knows its not a bad thing. Sleeping in my bed happens on special times. She must have gotten up every hour or so and she kept trying. She kept me up from midnight till about 5. Yea I was tired on Thursday. The moral however was to let her know her room is a safe place and that special things are saved for special times. Crashing with Daddy won’t be special if she does it ever night. So when a special time comes it will feel special. I do feel bad she was sad but I had to be strong, this was a test for me too. When I get older being a single Dad, I am going to want to help her and make things easier. Not seeing her as much I won’t want any tension but at the same time I have to parent. I have to be strong and know it is my job to guide her to a good future and let her fly without me carrying her.
Making our kids ready for the real world takes tenderness and tough love. All parents know this and the good ones give both at the right times. Parenting however doesn’t come easy, we can’t have our first child and then say “ohh this is easy I was so ready”. Why do you think people have more than one, they get all the bugs out, unless you’re my parents. My brother was lucky he came first. My Mom always jokes and says if I came first there would be no second… I just laugh and say “that’s right”! What ever life brings us we have to remember nobody is perfect or ready, so we just go slowly, or try to at least. That’s why in the early morning I let her come in and crash with me. She was so excited and she got through the entire night in her own room. This Wednesday I guess I will have to see what happens. I wish I could say I will know what will happen but its all a mystery to me!
So as I get ready for the week I will figure out if her little cute voice will win me over, usually it does but, I am working on that. I do feel I made a big step by getting her to know her room is fine. As time goes on I know she will grow further apart but I also know I have to be a parent. Well I will keep you all posted and I know everything works out for a reason…
You are never alone.