"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Friday, February 19, 2016

Single Parenting: Making and Receiving Changes.

     The past several years of giving advise as well as taking it I feel working with one's ex can be one of the hardest obstacles still yet to hurdle.  I have posted about some of the things we have worked well on or had differences.  I always post to my single parents that work with their ex when it comes to a child to please just do what is best for all.  There are times you don't want to or get frustrated for many different reasons however over the past week I feel we made a great stride.

   I currently moved jobs and emailed my Ex advising that Kayla would be picking up Quinn midweek only because the distance is going to be difficult.  I was polite in my email advising her of my time change and that it would be really convenient for Kayla who can stop on her way home from work per its closer.  She said it was no problem and to let her know the times as well as giving Kayla her number in case something happened.  It was good, I will admit I was nervous I wasn't sure how she would handle the email.  However Kayla and I now are married and the email was very nice and not offensive or written in a powerful way or demanding one.

     For my fellow parenting readers and friends when it comes to this please keep in mind what I wrote.  If you are sending some changes be nice you may not have to ask to make them if they are small.  However don't send a demanding email that states the changes and that's it.  Be polite and advise what is happening and why.  Your Ex should be nice and listen, if they don't you can look into your decree it might not justify their not agreeing.  Either way keeping your cool is most important.

     If you are on the other end and you get an email or if you are hearing about changes don't get upset.  Listen to them and take time to think and just relax.  Change is good and scary all at once.  Be kind to your ex if they are approaching you with changes to a set schedule.  As your child grows up things will change they just will so by learning how to do them sooner will only make it easier!   You must remember the child needs to come first, they have two homes to go back and fourth to plus they don't see both parents all the time so try to make it easier on them.

    So if you have some changes to make, ask kindly and advise what is going on and why.  If you are hearing about them take your time to read and take in the changes that might be happening.  If you new spouse is like mine and very calm and understanding talk to them.  Remember your new spouse is part of your life and they are here for you!  I feel the past changes we made went well, and it was handled correctly.  Kayla picked up Quinn last night and Quinn was very happy to see her!

    She cares about Kayla a lot but also it was a nice change to me getting her so I think it was nice.  So I do hope this post helps, I try to live by the words I type however I still get upset working in this agreement for anyone is difficult just slow down and think before you say anything back.

Always Remember,

You are Never Alone...


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