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Friday, November 7, 2014

If I don't punish you the world will...

 So one of the biggest struggles any parent, single or not has is punishing their child.  Nobody wants to punish their little one.  After all they are our little special guys!  Well I haven't told Quinn the world isn't an easy place yet.  I also don't want to make her scared either.  In reality it isn't easy.  Many people work more than one job, many people graduate every year and there aren't enough jobs to fill.  Not to mention my parents did help me but showed me I need a job if I want to buy things and learn about money and how to organize everything.  So I know what everyone is thinking, Quinn is 6.  Well where I am going with is yes Quinn can be bad sometimes.  She talks back, won't get dressed, scream at us that her cloths are not fitting. (when the do)  So over the years I have taken toys, given her time outs and even a tap or too. 

     I think spanking is more common but nobody likes doing it.  I do feel if a child is just not listening then yes it is called for. After everything else was tried.  So last Wednesday Quinn was crying and screaming because I had to punish her.  I had to take a bear away and give her a tap.  The wooden spoon...  I think the wooden spoon has been pulled out for kids more than making sauce!  How many people can remember their parents getting the old wooden spoon out.  It's amazing how kids will then change their mind when you just say your getting it out.  I have looked over other blogs and found this subject is up for debate.  I feel as long as you don't hurt your child or spank them out of anger then yes sometimes a child acting up to an extreme needs a punishment other than a "time out". 

     So getting back to my story.  So Quinn didn't want to come because I did have to "tap" I put it in quotes because I didn't use enough force to break wet paper.  She was over dramatic, you would have thought it was her last meal the way she acted.  Then she ran down the yard and sat in the leaves and screamed she wasn't going.  Now I knew she was just being a brat.  Her Mom and I talked to her but she wasn't doing anything but yelling.  She then did get in the car actually but then got out and ran in the garage.  She got in my ex's husband's truck, the bed and continued to scream and put a show on for us.  Now I wanted to just go up and grab her.  I tell her, "I don't negotiate with terrorist" all the time.  Meaning if she is bad we go in and the deals are off.  That is my last line before she knows she is in trouble.  However being on my ex's territory I didn't want an international incident.  I stayed quiet.  So after a while I told her I would take her to dinner and then she said I was lying and screamed it.  I told her I never lied to her and never went back on dinner, if I say we will go out, we do!

    I don't like bribing I don't but like I said I was at my Ex's.  So finally she starts to come out and then tries to make more deals.  My ex got mad (finally) and told her to get in the car or deals off.  Quinn got in and we went to dinner.  I promised her I wouldn't use the spoon on her again.  Even though I really didn't before!  I did tell her I will take toys away and that's how its going to go.  Will I spank her again?  I don't know, not with a spoon but maybe a hand tap.  You can't let kids do this or they will get away with everything. 

     The point I am making to Quinn and my readers is we do have to punish our kids, when they are being bad that is.  If we don't they will feel that they can do what ever they want and bribes will get them in line.  I can't tell Quinn yet but once she is older her boss won't bribe her!  They will say come to work or get the hell out!  That's what i'm afraid of.  The world is a nice cute place yes, but you have to fend for your self too!  You have to do good in school because the person on your left or right or both is going to go for that job maybe!  I just think that kids are kids but they need to realize that there is punishment in this world.  If we punish our kids correctly they will understand the realization.  Quinn also failed to tell her Mom why she was punished that I thought was funny.  Kids coming from a divorced family will also play one off the other, this I hoped wouldn't happen till later but fear Quinn is smart and is trying now.  Her Mom and I don't speak much so that will make it difficult.  In the end I wasn't happy because Quinn got what she wanted even though her punishment was just.  Next time I told her she does this I either go and get her and place her in the car, or I go home without her and give away some of her toys to kids that need them.

    I told Quinn she has two nice homes, beds, toys and food.  There are many kids that don't have any of that and she needs to understand this.  She can't be spoiled or greedy, I told her she has a very good family and life and she had to give thanks and understand why parents punish.    I hope this helps! If anyone has more tips let me know!

Always remember,
You are never alone...


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